You Say Tomato I Say Tomatoe….Forget What It’s Called! Just Don’t Drink the D**** Bottle!!!

So as I do this blog with Smoothie King in hand (Mango flavored …if you’re curious) I’m challenged with the ever unusual but possibly profound thought.

As I perused Facebook in my efforts to thwart the load of task that await me I see this….

(CENSORED) “is wondering… if tomatoes are a fruit, isn’t ketchup technically a smooothie??? LMAO!”

this seems profound in thought………..yet very hypertensive……..oddly I had an urge for a bloody mary at the time……….don’t judge.

I spent many a days as child pondering what family this edible creation belonged to. Was it a vegetable as we often assumed? or was a ….dare I ponder it…..a FRUIT!? (insert dramatic music here)

I mean it always made its way to many vegetable oriented sites….usually hand in hand with lettuce……….but to consider it a citrus affiliate? did that mean that a fruit had snuck its way onto our burgers…tacos….QUESO!?….I mean is it too a mischievous fruit like the pineapple who assaulted our pizzas and then used affirmative action to solidify its existence by race calling the pizza Hawaiian.

Though it tis true it is still oddly hard to fathom due to childhood because for many years most of us thought it to be vegetable………Had VEGGIE TALES lied to us all these years!?!?……were the really FRUITY TALES……..hmmmm (adjust tie) but anyway …back to the point.

Of course I’m sure someone is thinking NAAA what about V8 juices………….I won’t get into the politics…..plus I don’t like when my vegetables have numbers in them…but remember it says JUICES…..this feels contradictory to me now. >_< but law so has it that we tend to call it veggies at time….but is this just a massive government conspiracy……….who knows….maybe the government will shut my site down for the exposure of such precious information…so I’ll digress from this…

but is ketchup technically a smoothie? possibly …sprinkle some protein powder maybe……..freeze it….add some ice and sugar…………..naaaa that just be nasty…..but give it to Mikey he’ll eat anything. (Yes I just did that….if you get the joke there.)

This blog was brought to you by….Let-Go………like that last drop of ketchup in the bottle….sometimes you just got to Let it go….

J.A.G.

Stay tuned....for Intern has had a new venture.

Trey Songz - Love Faces

Trey Songz - Love Faces: "Passion, Pain, & Pleasure"

ATTACK OF THE CREEPER 2: THE CREEPER STRIKES AGAIN!

In our last adventure titled ATTACK OF THE CREEPER, you may recall the hilarious but hair raising goosebump and tingling tale of our awesome intern and her bout with THE CREEPER who made an eager attempt at the end of the day to get a hug from her after engaging in an random but A&B conversation between me and her.

Welp folks………the adventures of intern has not ended there for THE CREEPER STRIKES AGAIN! …….of course for respect and privacy……..and to prevent future creepers who may read this from going after her…….I maintain anonymity of all people….even me haha…but this tale is shorter

So ….once upon time…..wait………forget that its not one of those………Sooo it is was a cool mid day Friday at the job of which seemed rather progressive. I had just came back from being in the field with my lunch in hand of choice beverage Hi-c (don’t judge) and the intern was steady working hard and making hard work for herself by choice might I add. I had forgotten that a routine firedrill was scheduled for today but as the alarm chirped and non-epileptic friendly lights flashed…I proceeded, while sipping my Hi-C, to follow the routine protocol of meeting in the hall exit stairwell until further notice.

As i proceeded I came across intern in the hall. She told me how she was “just then Hungry”, this of course after me badgering her early to get some food. We proceeded to crack a few jokes….me still encouraging her OCD plight of working still to get food. In the mist of our banter the fire drill is called to an end for what seemed like the fastest drill we ever had.

We began walking back into the office, I still drinking my Hi-C (don’t hate) when all of a sudden I see in my peripherals a hand comes across and place itself on the shoulder of intern. Paying little mind to origins of the hand, I proceeded to drink my drink but soon I’m body checked into the wall on my right and arm wraps itself around my left arm. I’m a little disoriented in the moment from being blind sided but as I look to my left I see a face in sheer terror and confusion with a dash of laughter. Startled I realized that it is the INTERN and her look confuses me but soon my mind clicks as it traces the origins of the hand to………you got it….. THE CREEPER! this time he had taken a new tactic….he snuck up from behind and pulled a arm around the shoulders….his idea of being friendly “I guess”…………..Intern was terrified but NOT having it and with ungodly adrenaline based strenght had body checked (Full hockey) into me…….and if your wondering about my HI-C….all drops were retained…..anyway..

She proceeds to wrap her arm through mine and we look to shades from a high school prom date as I realize I’m being used as cover with her arm entangled in mine…….I proceed to sip my drink while chuckling under my breath. She was a little miffed by that but fear of creeper overrides that. We start to walk faster side by side. She doesn’t want him to know her new desk whereabouts of which she had moved to since the last incident. Soon she creates the idea of having me take the lead to a distant coworkers desk as a decoy as the creeper was walking behind us.

Assessing the situation I realized that he was directly behind her in arms reach so any further attempts at violating personal bubbles was immenent….so I instead of taking the lead in her plan…wedged myself in between and put her in the lead telling her “I don’t know where to go, so I’ll follow you”…..I knew she wasn’t to happy with me breaking her plan ….but hey…..we can improvise at least right?….its better than him going for round 2,3,4, etc. :P

We reach the decoy desk and from there begin to laugh yet sort the adventure out in our heads. Our supervisor finds this amusing and completely understands our interns plight…..and as i reflect the lessons learned in this adventure are as followed.

1. Quick thinking goes a long way 2. HI-C is still good 3. Creepers are like ninjas….just more violating……4. Some women should really consider taking up hockey…..many have ungodly strength in hightened senses of emotions….ow my shoulder…and I’d hate to see the wall lol

as always never a dull moment and I’m

J.A.G.

Monday?....or Mundane?

It’s hard to tell when they seem rather synonymous at times. Often I’m reminded of the Garfield comic strip of which Garfield the Cat would wake up every morning dreading Monday…practically hiding and burying himself in his bed and for some odd reason entailed a random pie hitting him in the face just because it was Monday..…..On some Mondays even a pie in the face might be a little more exciting then the normal mundane routine.

Monday is like that awkward rollercoaster where once it starts (we’ll call that Tuesday) your excited too because you have to look forward to the weekend (THE PINNACLE OF THE RIDE). You go through loops, twist, dives, occasionally still that random person screaming in your ear until you hit that climactic point (TOP OF THE HILL) in the ride aka the WEEKEND! (workaholics excluded). From the hill you start coming down the ride to a stop (Sunday)….Your all excited and wanting to do it all again……well Monday is like that part where now it’s the end of the ride and your just sitting there waiting to be let out so you can go to the next ride…….but the ride operator is taking all damn day to get to you……you get bored….you get tired…..and then agitated…then eventually you just want to cuss someone out …..

With that in mind, it helps to either have a good set of people on that ride with you to entertain your thoughts….or find some way to make the day interesting yourself…….you know Monday’s don’t get interesting on their own………..you know what …just cuz its Monday I feel like throwing pies at my bosses……. I think they’d enjoy it…….maybe? I would….

Todays Blog is brought to you again by “Let-Go”…..puuulll back,….hooold…steady…..aiiiim….and LET GO!”

J.A.G.

At the request of a friend, I’m going to visit the topic of the make up of the Asshole for reason

I’ll leave alone. So I figure why not. Everyman is not an asshole but all have asshole tendencies brought out by particular events….whether genetic…I couldn’t tell you :P . Usually when those opportunities present themselves…..some will embrace it long term (complete)….and some will use it only in the moment….and then there is some that take the more passive approach.

Usually in relationships, the encountering of an asshole comes to view in the mist of arguments. Aggressive words are exchanged and 7 out of 10 times your mostly going to attack each others character at some point. For a guy, often in his head, like any other he becomes defensive. In this instant he may choose to retaliate often. THIS is usually the asshole tendency initiator…his character is threatened and like all playground politics…the thought that hits his mind most often is “YOU HIT ME, I’M GOING TO HIT YOU BACK”….so in some cases he may without ration or even thought not think his statements out because his whole mission at that point is to get revenge :l ….messed up I know but its what some of us do. In SOME cases between men and women we have a lost in translation….you see there is this misconception that in an argument BOTH participant are supposed to be evenly emotionally invested in the THE argument…..nope when you hit his character again SOME men will withdraw from it all…..a kind of F*** it and F*** you attitude….. “I don’t need this” ….sooo your left arguing with yourself there…….I’ve seen too many women get pissed here but even I come to terms here……I’m not going to sit here and start world war with you…..but in my case its because I know there is a better answer to the matter at hand……..

just don’t push to hard here. When he is in that mode he is not in complete asshole mode but if you push too much you WILL cause him to go all out….sometimes its better to step back and regroup in our case…..although some of us would rather just act like the altercation never happened….THIS is a problem in problem avoidance though…..but for the sake of metaphor picture a muffin. The interior is his ego and/or character…the substance……the outside is tough or solid from its exposure to the everyday heat (baked lol)……when you pass that exterior you find that some of us are consistent throughout…..and some of us put up a front in defense and really have an undercooked interior…so they really have no clarity to themselves……what the heck!?!? I’m hungry now!?

This blog is probably part I among many issues dealing with the theory of the a**hole………and is brought to you by “Let-go” :P……..no really try it lol

J.A.G.

Revamped Emo Vampires! I want to suck your blood....but it hurts inside!

Somewhere must be a really pissed off Dracula. He must be wondering what the hell happened over the past decade to lead to such emotionally charged monsters. I believe some would blame Buffy the vampire slayer and her Dawson's Creek like affair with the vampire known as Angel…….but at least angel too had a side that was slightly less emo but masculine to it. Dare I say it….Angel actually kicked @%$# and though he was nice guy…..there was a slight hint of “don’t #^$@ with me!” to him..

Last time I checked vampires were a thing to be remotely feared. At Halloween men and boys would dress up as Dracula for various reasons because Dracula was a suave but tough guy. ……Okay usually boys dressed up because he was the king of monsters….and men…..well they just liked the concept of nibbling on a girls neck I’m sure……now days not so much…..but with today's current trend I feel that if I encountered a real vampire…..If I told it that it was ugly or had bad breath , it might run off and cry……..maybe even kill itself……now I don’t know about you but I think that might make the world a safer place but still……..its slightly …..depressing…just a little...

Then again it does make sense why vampire costumes are so few seen these days….given the current twilight trend…..I don’t think I would dress up as a vampire if it meant I “glittered” in the sunlight…although I’m sure that comes handy for vampires who like to do some jogging…you’re you own reflector belt…..

Now I’m not HATING on twilight and the series of knock offs that followed (although I know a certain person is probably going to give me an earful on this tommorrow…sorry :P or am I?) but I do have grievances with that series for other reasons….but I’m just saying I want my bad ass vampires back…in todays world of survival of the fittest…..where is Blade when you need him….oh wait…tax evasion…okay George Clooney you’re our next hope for restoration.

Tie up your loose ends if you haven't....

In 2010 I suggested to tie up your loose ends as I myself did. I love it and its less stressful. So in this year of 2011 I find myself focus and a bit happier. For those who still haven't tied up theirs I suggest you do it.... Forget who should go first, forget egos, finish up old projects, repair good friendships and whatever and forget the cost unless life threatening and TRUE integrity......you'll be glad you did.

J.A.G.

Thinking out Loud

Just random thoughts none are related. I'm just thinking out loud.

"ooooo you particular woman you, you definitely inspire the competitiveness in me. How did we manage to past 3 hours unknowingly. Oh and you definitely have some "unique" criteria and ways of keeping me on my toes but that makes you cool. Oh and leave my pet peeves alone. If your psychotic and I'm crazy...we gone burn this mother down. :P"

"There are a few shady elements starting to rear their ugly heads, but thats okay. Nothing new. Its all under control, just have to keep moving"

"Thank you good sir for reminding me that I am not the only one in this fight to preserve the good man's name. Its not about chauvinist. Its about saying what you mean and meaning what you say and taking care of the things you care about, chivalry is a plus."

"I'll see you this summer maybe we'll go salsa and merengue again ;)"

"Its always good to hear your voice, it grounds me and reminds me why I do what I do. I hope you accomplish your aspirations babygirl."

"I'm not where I want to be, but I will get there for sure. I'm working towards it...its a big to do list."

"Didn't doubt you for a minute. Good luck in your 3rd year. Told you you'd make it 5 4 years ago ;)"

"People can do the right things, the wrong way."

"Can't tell you, I can only show you"

"I really want to get this fellowship"

"Are you kidding me, I was built for the red wire blue wire situation....its the paperwork that messes with me"

"AGAIN a true man does not fear commitment....he commits to things everyday. It's being committed to the wrong thing that he fears"

"I'm back and soon to be better than ever"

J.A.G.

ATTACK OF THE CREEPERS!!

I have very interesting people as always in my life. Very diverse from race, to train of thought, belief systems, to problems, to. well you name it....so to get new friends honestly would only mean I'm changing a face.......not the situation so with the friends I have, I wouldn't have it any other way. Especially given my past in friends and life in general haha.

So your probably wondering what this has to do with the title. Allow me to tell you a story but first let me introduce you to the characters.

At my job we have a particular intern. She's wonderful in a very witty, random, and hilarious way...sly in a funny way...and cool in my book. I think she gets herself in quite some odd situations too without trying but none truly unfamiliar. I've had the opportunity to work with her for quite a while and it has been non stop laughter in the process between both our antics on the job. Jobs don't get interesting on their own all the time, you know?

Another character, we will refer to as creeper because he is a strange one. He is happy, hyper, optimistic, but tends to tell very bad jokes, and snores at his desk occassionally. My team is predominately and coincidentally female. Creeper has been at the facility for quite some time. (More than 10 years to be exact) and probably old enough to be a grandpa. He tends to send a creepy vibe off to the females of my work team obviously. I don't know why.......okay mainly it is probably because he is too friendly to the point that he oversteps personal bubbles and boundaries (aka in their minds "THE DIRTY OLD MAN"). For two of my close friends from the job he has attempted to hug them during random unwarranted opportunities which could only reflect to them as coping a feel. (i'm laughing pretty hardcore here)..It is wrong yes I know...anyway

Usually If I am in the vicinity.....they give what could only be described as the...... "WTF!?!? help me!?" look.
He also tends to be touchy feely in his interactions. Whether he is aware or not, I am unsure at the moment.

Our intern was placed with desk right next to his and over time has been rather acquainted with his ways.

Now to our story:

Its the end of my shift, and I decided on my way out to check on the intern who at this point looks like she is about to choke the hell out of her phone after making several calls to our most "heartwarming"(sarcasm) citizens in Houston. I figured I'd get her to laugh a bit, especially before she does damage to city property with all that care.

We begin to talk about the task and a few other hilarious jokes and cheap shots at each other along the way. As we talk the man who we will refer to as creeper is packing to leave for the day as well. We proceed to talk about the all day faxing she has been doing as well as what each of us may do for the upcoming MLK day of which I invite her. In the mist of our conversation, Creeper feels compelled to walk out and engage in our banter. We talk for a little while listening to his attempted jokes which neither of us can interpret like a foreign language we've never heard.

Suddenly a feeling comes over both her and I of which we make eye contact with each other. We realize, that he is lingering and not wanting to leave. From her face I read the expression "I don't want to talk to him, uh oh" of which my face retorts "uh oh this is not good". Given what I know of him already, I foresee what is about to happen next and think to myself that I should probably help my partner out. I grab my Blackberry acting as if I had recieved a missed message but proceed to send her a text message saying "Fax Save yourself" in hopes that she would use her last fax job as a means to get out. The Creeper continues to joke unaware of this and proceeds with another bad joke which is beyond our comprehension. We laugh in consideration and to hide our confusion. The intern glares at me with a look which clearly says to me "SAVE ME!" yet smiles to hide it from the creeper out of politeness.

As I glance past her I notice that her phone finally receives my text message. I point to her, that I think she has gotten a phone call to allow her to get a fresh breath of air and set her up for an escape. She seizes the opportunity to read her message and laughs as she checks it. I engage the creeper in hopes of deferring him to me in conversation. She messages me back "Help, gotta go...Save Me". I mention to the creeper something random of which my partner plays on in humor....but now has unknowingly redirected the creepers focus back to her. As she grabs the fax sheets in hand, the unexpected occurs.

Okay I expected it..... but I was trying to save her from it. Without warrant nor warning, the creeper goes for THE HUG!. A hug which almost resembles that of a bear hug squeezing her tightly against him. Her eyes FLARE WIDELY looking at me with FEAR, CONFUSION, PANIC, PARANOIA, and DISGUST and switches to a face that says, "HELP! Don't you DARE leave me here!". I couldn't help it but I laughed on the inside and chuckled quietly but had no intent on leaving her there in this awkward situation. The hug lasts for what seemed like 1 whole minute but to her probably felt like a lifetime of confusion. I talk to him on a new subject in hopes to pry him off of her but the first attempt fails because he seems rather determined. I try again louder and reach success as he begins to release and look at me. The intern grabs the fax paper quickly and as I distract she intervenes and proceeds to ask me if I can show her how to use the fax machine on the other side of the building.

Now keep in mind that she has been faxing from that machine all day as I mentioned earlier. I agree to help and tell creeper that I will see him later. As I look at my watch we have been at this for 15 minutes. We begin to walk to the fax machine and realize that he is going the same route of course to sign out. She plays off her concern well. We both continue joking in accents not of our own on random subjects as he follows and tries to throw in some fragments of statements. Fortunately he remembers to go to the break room for his lunch container and detours that direction. A sigh of relief comes across my partners face as I notice that we begin to walk faster to the fax supply room. After we safely evade and enter the fax room we begin to laugh about the entire situation as well as what has happened in earlier times on the internship and some other things causing us both to laugh hard but forced to maintain composure as to not draw attention from other coworkers.

Never a dull moment...... but hey I'm Just a guy. :)

J.A.G.

This story is brought to you by Blackberry and Samsung.......proud evasion tools of creepers everywhere.

Laughter can be the best medicine...

Dear women,

I enjoy making you all laugh. There is no other way to say that. Your minds go a mile a minute as much as most of you portray yourselves as being simple in thoughts. Through laughter I feel that for a brief single moment I get you to stop thinking of all the bull around you and off the stress so you can give your body a rest or time to catch up, or maybe even enjoy a little peace. Plus it is always good to make a woman smile....requires some work and trial and error but it's worth it at times. Thats right I said it. I say this as a man and I'm man enough to say it. Welp back to this life where I do what I do best....

Sincerely,
J.A.G.

P.S.- If anybody whats to criticize this or me about this material..from the bottom of my heart with all sincerity....go $@#% yourself and do something better with your life because I handle my business while I have these adventures as should you. I didn't come here for a peer to peer review on this one. :)

Quiet Storms that cost us all.....

You know more friendships, relationships, work environments, partnerships, teams, etc get broken up by elements that had nothing to do with what they were was founded and developed on.....dissolved by things that are random.....unneeded and unnecessary....often..... easy to resolve.....

Along with that., every human being because they are not perfect will overtime make really crappy decisions, act in ways they shouldn't occasionally or don't fit for certain situations, and ultimately and (generically) make mistakes ....often routinely.

With that in mind you have a choice in all these things......you can let these ties go with the flow of today's chaos....which is like leaving a flower or anything unattended and will ultimately lead to its demise..........which also can leave you with nothing over and over again....OR you can do what is necessary regardless of anything to take care of the things you care about most.

in a way, what it comes down to is do you really and truly care at all .......or are you content with saying and convincing yourself the words that you care but not adding truly or dedicating yourself to the work ethic necessary to make your caring true.

The only true ties that should be cut come down to those that jeopardize life, future, limb, and compromising of complete self...not a portion...but complete.

Don't expect anything you have to not have its fair share of conflicts but be willing to do what is necessary to get what you have back up and running right even if it means going back to basics or ground zero.


That which you care about, you will do what is necessary regardless of opinions, prejudices, egos, or anything. Why?.......because you care about it.


This popped in my head randomly as I sit in my room and relax.....I figure or assume there is somebody out here that needs to hear this but who knows? As always I'm ...

J.A.G.

Good night

For Every Action........

I was holding a conversation with someone very dear and important to me and in the mist of this conversation I noticed something with her that I have always realized as a kid growing up. Something she did for me when we were little was simple but was pivotal to me growing up in a phase ....but she never knew nor realized it but I'm always appreciative and grateful for her because of it whether she knows or not.

A lot of us don't really understand or realize just how significant every little action can be in life. Otherwise, we do realize but we push it in the back of our minds and bury it with whatever we label as priorities, aspirations, everyday encounters, and sometimes intentionally choosing to ignore it.

emphasized words "For every action, there is a reaction"-Newtons third law

although physics this can also be applied socially but its easier to see the immediate physics like moving (I admit) than it is to see what you do and how it effects the environment around you....unless you INTENTIONALLY decide to look. (FOR TECHNICAL PEOPLE: Keep in mind SOCIALLY not every action and reaction will be equal....that is the BIG difference if you apply the whole law)

but back to the original conversation..

Even the the littlest thing or routine action can have the biggest effect especially if it is at the right time and the right place......and not just even that.

Example: When I was in a ROTC unit in college, I made it a point to smile one year everywhere I went despite how agitated training could be at times....randomly in a football game against Nebraska a girl randomly pulled me aside and told me that she always noticed me smiling every time she saw me and it made her smile and handled the day the same

did I expect it to have effect personally.....yes....its why I did it (I understood this)... but please mind
you its near 10000 + people at a football game, I didn't know this girl nor have a class with her, and this happened to me multiple times with various people.

That's several people just because of a routine..small action...that most of us see as truly just a small gesture to ourselves, or meaning nothing at times, or a just because action

I could give you several more examples but I'm not going to be long winded with this. Its the ripple effect if you've heard of it.

envision a pond or lake

"If you tap your finger in the water a small ripple becomes bigger ripples" that is the basis of the ripple effect metaphor.

but to expand on that did you know that that tap was probably heard by fish.......the fish saw it as a warning and as result changed its course of action....who knows you may have starved a bear somewhere" :P

Now as redundant as always I hear the words ooo you're over thinking things...let me again nip this in the bud...and say no I'm not.

You would be surprise to know what your brain processes, notices, or what information it receives and interprets without your focus. Your brain has already processed all this and your constantly assessing EVERYTHING without you realizing it (including often actions and reactions). so am I really?.... no I'm just pointing it out. Something you possibly choose to ignore or bury in focus deeming it maybe unimportant TO YOU. I just decided to look at it.

Of course from the person who is dear to me she often says that "I'm making it bigger than what it is" (I say this laughing of course right now).....but to me... no ...and you unknowingly its just something to us as simple as "breathing" :P....

know thyself....

but hey I'm

J.A.G. ;)

P.S- Make every action count towards the best reaction....