Thursday, January 13, 2011
ATTACK OF THE CREEPERS!!
I have very interesting people as always in my life. Very diverse from race, to train of thought, belief systems, to problems, to. well you name it....so to get new friends honestly would only mean I'm changing a face.......not the situation so with the friends I have, I wouldn't have it any other way. Especially given my past in friends and life in general haha.
So your probably wondering what this has to do with the title. Allow me to tell you a story but first let me introduce you to the characters.
At my job we have a particular intern. She's wonderful in a very witty, random, and hilarious way...sly in a funny way...and cool in my book. I think she gets herself in quite some odd situations too without trying but none truly unfamiliar. I've had the opportunity to work with her for quite a while and it has been non stop laughter in the process between both our antics on the job. Jobs don't get interesting on their own all the time, you know?
Another character, we will refer to as creeper because he is a strange one. He is happy, hyper, optimistic, but tends to tell very bad jokes, and snores at his desk occassionally. My team is predominately and coincidentally female. Creeper has been at the facility for quite some time. (More than 10 years to be exact) and probably old enough to be a grandpa. He tends to send a creepy vibe off to the females of my work team obviously. I don't know why.......okay mainly it is probably because he is too friendly to the point that he oversteps personal bubbles and boundaries (aka in their minds "THE DIRTY OLD MAN"). For two of my close friends from the job he has attempted to hug them during random unwarranted opportunities which could only reflect to them as coping a feel. (i'm laughing pretty hardcore here)..It is wrong yes I know...anyway
Usually If I am in the vicinity.....they give what could only be described as the...... "WTF!?!? help me!?" look.
He also tends to be touchy feely in his interactions. Whether he is aware or not, I am unsure at the moment.
Our intern was placed with desk right next to his and over time has been rather acquainted with his ways.
Now to our story:
Its the end of my shift, and I decided on my way out to check on the intern who at this point looks like she is about to choke the hell out of her phone after making several calls to our most "heartwarming"(sarcasm) citizens in Houston. I figured I'd get her to laugh a bit, especially before she does damage to city property with all that care.
We begin to talk about the task and a few other hilarious jokes and cheap shots at each other along the way. As we talk the man who we will refer to as creeper is packing to leave for the day as well. We proceed to talk about the all day faxing she has been doing as well as what each of us may do for the upcoming MLK day of which I invite her. In the mist of our conversation, Creeper feels compelled to walk out and engage in our banter. We talk for a little while listening to his attempted jokes which neither of us can interpret like a foreign language we've never heard.
Suddenly a feeling comes over both her and I of which we make eye contact with each other. We realize, that he is lingering and not wanting to leave. From her face I read the expression "I don't want to talk to him, uh oh" of which my face retorts "uh oh this is not good". Given what I know of him already, I foresee what is about to happen next and think to myself that I should probably help my partner out. I grab my Blackberry acting as if I had recieved a missed message but proceed to send her a text message saying "Fax Save yourself" in hopes that she would use her last fax job as a means to get out. The Creeper continues to joke unaware of this and proceeds with another bad joke which is beyond our comprehension. We laugh in consideration and to hide our confusion. The intern glares at me with a look which clearly says to me "SAVE ME!" yet smiles to hide it from the creeper out of politeness.
As I glance past her I notice that her phone finally receives my text message. I point to her, that I think she has gotten a phone call to allow her to get a fresh breath of air and set her up for an escape. She seizes the opportunity to read her message and laughs as she checks it. I engage the creeper in hopes of deferring him to me in conversation. She messages me back "Help, gotta go...Save Me". I mention to the creeper something random of which my partner plays on in humor....but now has unknowingly redirected the creepers focus back to her. As she grabs the fax sheets in hand, the unexpected occurs.
Okay I expected it..... but I was trying to save her from it. Without warrant nor warning, the creeper goes for THE HUG!. A hug which almost resembles that of a bear hug squeezing her tightly against him. Her eyes FLARE WIDELY looking at me with FEAR, CONFUSION, PANIC, PARANOIA, and DISGUST and switches to a face that says, "HELP! Don't you DARE leave me here!". I couldn't help it but I laughed on the inside and chuckled quietly but had no intent on leaving her there in this awkward situation. The hug lasts for what seemed like 1 whole minute but to her probably felt like a lifetime of confusion. I talk to him on a new subject in hopes to pry him off of her but the first attempt fails because he seems rather determined. I try again louder and reach success as he begins to release and look at me. The intern grabs the fax paper quickly and as I distract she intervenes and proceeds to ask me if I can show her how to use the fax machine on the other side of the building.
Now keep in mind that she has been faxing from that machine all day as I mentioned earlier. I agree to help and tell creeper that I will see him later. As I look at my watch we have been at this for 15 minutes. We begin to walk to the fax machine and realize that he is going the same route of course to sign out. She plays off her concern well. We both continue joking in accents not of our own on random subjects as he follows and tries to throw in some fragments of statements. Fortunately he remembers to go to the break room for his lunch container and detours that direction. A sigh of relief comes across my partners face as I notice that we begin to walk faster to the fax supply room. After we safely evade and enter the fax room we begin to laugh about the entire situation as well as what has happened in earlier times on the internship and some other things causing us both to laugh hard but forced to maintain composure as to not draw attention from other coworkers.
Never a dull moment...... but hey I'm Just a guy. :)
This story is brought to you by Blackberry and Samsung.......proud evasion tools of creepers everywhere.