Friday, July 10, 2015

We're similar but different. Accept it, get over it, and make the most of it.

As a concept, I'm the type who prefers to have a team consisting of a thief, a Samaritan, a hard worker, a slacker, male, female, all of the above, strangely competing faiths, difference cultures, a cat, a dog, a duck, and random rock for a team than a group of like minded copies. I can change if the situation requires but that's just my preference. Yes, they will probably clash and offend each other from time to time, due to differences, but as long as they're respectful in coexistence, then I'm cool.Thick skins, equanimity, and patience is a requirement. Otherwise, you have high ideals about coexistence especially if you believe all have the right to an opinion (ever changing with the wind).

So show me who you are as of today so that I know what and who I'm dealing with today because I'm not going to assume about you because we all have something to offer. I expect people to change in their own ways with time and experiences so why not make the most of it and figure out how to make the pieces work Differences tap into capacity, while similarities tap more the momentum or force behind progress. I like capacity; it creates potential. If you can get differences to get on the same page then lets throw a party because watch the magic happen. . Plus, the differences usually acts as checks and balances---headaches when they occur--but checks and balances. The latter assuming someone doesn't get to carried away--then that is when standards come in. Respect and responsibility; Those are what I care about more.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

To want or not to want? Just admit you're interested.

I have noticed that an exceptionally large number of people are quick to validate themselves, advocate against, and become defensive against things (that their actions suggest otherwise) they are interested in having or experiencing. A lot of this is probably due to stigma, fear, or societal pressure for norms. It's a strange form of hypocrisy we all bare. People, in my opinion, should just admit and embrace that they have interest, desires, goals that conflict with other interest or with current actions. Doing the latter, provides relief to the brain because we live with strict palettes or taste in some things and wide palettes for other things. This is called being human. What am I talking about? I'll give you the following examples:

Examples 1:If you are interested in eating something but it conflicts with your health goals. Don't demonize your interest saying, "I would never eat that because it's not healthy!" when you know part of you wants to try it or has a irrational hunger for it. Why lie? it's easier to just say, "I know this food is not healthy and I want to eat it, but I have other goals that conflict with eating it. I really want to reach that goal--so no." It's a humility that brings peace of mind and clarity to a healthy and normal contradiction of living in this world.

Example 2: You want a relationship or something a product of it but you rebuke the interest like a federal offense because of pressures of the world. Don't discredit someone advocating else for having it or wanting you to have it (especially if you have interest in it at some point in the future) if they ask you about it now days. Unless you truly don't want a relationship (ever [subject to change with time]), wouldn't it just be easier to admit that you are interested in it (and it may or may not happen) but just not at this moment or you don't see anyone that inspires you to want to go down that path yet. At the same time, those pressuring probably should ease up and let the cards fall where they may with a few suggestions only as needed. People are stubborn here on both sides.

Instead, we have the singles club activist and the relationship advocates fighting with each other over something that isn't bad, not exactly for everyone, or not on the same schedule. We vary as people and that is a fact of life. We are similar but different. Why fight about that? Just be truthful of the broadness of our lifestyles (even if not concrete) instead of slapping each other with our strong bias or personal experienced expertise. I mean, we can speak to each other why it works for us (and they may take interest or not) but we should not spend a whole lot of time shouting at each other over sides.

The habit of picking sides makes enemies we don't need and a lot of unnecessary,speaking only from my own experiences. It's better to be honest with ourselves about ourselves and understand that we have contradictions and we should not deny them. Humility goes a long way. I can talk about many more things we deny to ourselves that we want or are interested in but this is enough.

Anyway, this is all brain chatter. I see good people bump heads in a strange form of denial unidentified by our natural hypocrisy---life.